Sacrifice and Sleeping

I actually grew to enjoy posting without pictures last week because it allowed me to write--something that I miss and don't get to do as often as I would like.

Sacrifice has been something that is on my mind a lot lately. I always thought that sacrifice was when you had a decision or choice between two things and you picked the one that appealed to you the lesser amount. However, you picked it because you knew that you should. You picked it because that was the point of sacrifice--to do without, to be the martyr, to relinquish, to take one for the team. You picked it knowing that you would forgo the thing that was a greater prize.

Pretty sure my viewpoint on this is a little off. Perhaps I won't throw this word around as often as I have in the past. I tell Ross what a huge sacrifice I made when we moved to Little Rock, and in reality I didn't sacrifice anything by moving to Little Rock. I gained an incredible relationship with my husband and encouraging friends. A lot of times I feel like I sacrifice sleep for Amelia and that it's just par for the course. I don't sacrifice sleep to stay up and hold Amelia. I am gaining precious moments with her that I won't ever be able to get back. I am not taking one for the team by staying home and giving up my profession. I am seizing an opportunity that has graciously been afforded to me.

Sacrifice. The problem with my old definition was pride. Sacrifice was a ribbon to wear. A medal to display. Look at me..look what I am sacrificing. Look...I am doing the right thing. Look at what all I do now that I am a mom. I sacrifice.

And, while that is true, I do sacrifice to be a mom, it isn't me forgoing anything big or prized. The only thing I am really giving up is selfishness. Selfish desires. So, where is the sacrifice in that?

I am going to try to look at things I am gaining from my so-called sacrifices. We will see how it goes. Tonight I might be griping if I am up and in the rocker.

Amelia has started clapping. It is delightful. I got so tickled taking the above picture that you can barely tell she is clapping.

A friend asked how the sleeping situation is going and I haven't done very well keeping myself accountable on the ole blog. I finally gave in and put her in bed with us. She has done excellent this week. Sleeping through the night or very close to it. This morning she awoke at 5 for her bottle and went back to sleep until 730. I always said I would NEVER put my child in bed with me. Turns out, I am fine with changing my mind. Now, three of us in a double bed is umm cozy, but Amelia is sleeping like a log, so cozy wins.

Today is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. I never understood this pain until I became pregnant with Amelia. I didn't have a clue how much you could love a child. I wasn't even close to understanding the depth of the pain someone has when they lose a child. And honestly, I still do not understand it because I have a healthy baby. I do want my precious friend to know that I love her and today I remember her sweet baby.