Thanks Gammy!

Well...a great first three days. My kids decorated the classroom with balloons and "Welcome Home" streamers. So sweet. Honestly, how do you not get a teensy bit excited to return to that? Mom and Amelia have had a ton of fun at home during the day. They have read books, taken walks, done tummy time, sang, and played with toys. Here is Amelia holding a toy for the first time. What a gal!Meme sent delicious homemade meals with Mom for us to eat for supper. The strawberry pie and Cool Whip are definitely not helping me shed any baby weight, but that hasn't stopped me from having a piece or TWO a day. I have a ton of papers to grade to try and get back in the groove, so this is short and sweet.

Back to Work

Okay. It is inevitable. Tomorrow morning I will go to work. Sigh. I'm not sure what to even say. I am excited in a way because I love my job. So in actuality, if time would stand still, I would go to work all day and then go back and spend the whole day with Amelia. Mom is here to babysit for the week and she brought Amelia some sweet outfits and a sun bonnet. We took her on a walk this afternoon and she is just so cute in it.

Something that I have been wondering-- My Graco Pack-n-Play has a flower mobile attached to it, but I have to stand over it and spin it. I mean seriously...why would such a genius brand do such a ridiculous thing? However, my daughter looks like this when I spin it.


So, I don't care. And here I am with no makeup and no shower being a crazy spinner because Amelia likes it. And this is only the beginning of the things I'll do for her.
This working mom is going to bed. Waaahhhh.

Shots Continued and A Few Firsts

Thanks to everyone who checked on Amelia after her shots. She was very calm at the doctor's office--just chilling on the table waiting to see what the big deal was.
Of course, she soon found out what the big deal was; they hurt her and she let us know about it. I stood in the corner (again) and Ross held her hands. But after I scooped her up, she honestly was just fine. She smiled and we went to Sonic and she took a nap. It was great and I was so relieved.
BUT THEN. After her nap she woke up screaming with two swollen legs that were bright red. And she screamed. And screamed. And screamed. I called Meme to let her listen to it and she said, "Not normal." I called Ross and he said, "Not normal." I called the doctor (three times) and they said "Normal." It just didn't seem like they were taking me seriously. But, Ross took me seriously and his attending physician let him come home for the day. Some Tylenol and tons of rocking and singing later, she gave it up and took a nap. Oh, I was so grateful for the prayers.

So, the end result is that the shots were way worse than I thought. Super. Let me tell you..that rarely happens to me. But, she took a bath and all her shot worries were gone.

Daddy and Amelia after bathtime

"It's all right guys...I feel better."



Firsts:
1. First time to hold on to a toy (rattle) on her own. (4-22-09)
2. First poop explosion outside of the diaper. Yes..outside. It shot all the way across the room with force that would make a rocket proud. (4-23-09)

Her stat updates at doctor:
9lbs 5 oz, 22 inches long

Shots....

Cutest Easter Lady EverThanks Uncle Derek for the pictures!

Tomorrow is the day. First round of big shots. I really don't have anything else to say because I am dreading it for her. I think there are four shots.... Four. She is tiny. I'm done talking about it.

Lets just do pictures today. Ok? Because apparently, I can only talk shots.

First, here is her famous big lip move. When she is about to cry, out goes the lip.


I tried her Bumbo seat, but she is still too little for it.
She loves Flower Girl at playtime

Hmmmm...

Last Free Monday

I go back to work next Monday. And yes, I still have the whole week at home and should just enjoy my time, but that isn't really how I work. I tend to dramatize every moment and say to myself, "This is my last Monday to change her morning diaper." "This is my last Monday to put her down for her morning nap." Knowing me, I will continue this ridiculous pattern for the rest of the week.

The catch is that it isn't ridiculous to me. I just love her so much. It is the most consuming love that I have ever felt, and even though other moms tried to explain it to me, they didn't even come close to articulating it. She has the most innocent and precious face, and those deep blue eyes are addicting. Just look.
The great news is that I don't have to take her to daycare yet because her Gammy, Aunt Steph, Bran Bran, and her G are all taking days off to fill the five week span of me finishing up the school year. How amazing is that? Honestly, we are so lucky that they are willing to do that. Whew. Feeling better already.

Happy 8 Weeks/Two Months

There has been discussion by SOME people that today is not Amelia's two month birthday because it isn't the 21st. However, it has been 8 weeks today, which to me is two months. Either way, here are her pics in her cute red outfit that mark a celebratory day
Amelia and Ross were playing in the floor before she got dressed, but they both fell asleep. Cute! Watch update: Ross super-glued my watch back together and that lasted for 45 minutes. It was a great 45 minutes though. When I can make it to Target then I guess I will be velcro watch girl again. I know some of you were hoping that day would never return, but what can I do?

At 8 weeks, Amelia
- loves frogman, lovebug, and ellie
- swings to sleep in her swing
- prefers to be rocked and held
- won't lay in her bed for a nap or nighttime
- blows bubbles
- smiles (almost can laugh...maybe once at uncle d)
- rolled over from tummy to back one time (yesterday)
- loves her boppy pillow

How In The World?

So, this is crazy. I woke up this morning to feed Amelia and looked to see what time it was. My watch wasn't on my wrist. Hmm. I haven't taken that watch off in over a year. I swim in it, shower in it, have C-sections in it. It was necessary to alert Ross at that point. We looked everywhere. Then..there it was.

It was on the floor BROKEN IN HALF. This is my precious HARD PLASTIC Nike watch. It looked like it had been snipped. I kid you not. I even asked Ross if he did it. Of course, he looked at me like I was insane, but I did not know any other explanation. It briefly entered my mind that someone had broken in during the night and cut the watch from my wrist. Don't worry, even I realize how silly that sounds..even I.

Alas, the Nike watch is done. My favorite watch ever. No, I am not being dramatic.

How in the world?

On to more important things. HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM!! We all love you. Especially this cute little tooter. She is in a great mood this morning and wishes you a fun weekend in Branson.
Amy--thanks for the pretty bow you made Amelia!

Beautiful

Amelia had some Easter pictures made by Derek Henderson Photography and here is a sneak peek at one of them. Awwww. Yes, he is her Uncle D, so she is extra lucky.

Easter and More

What a great weekend at home. Actually, I am still home, but that is another story. We had supper with Ross's family on Friday night and visited with them. Jessalyn was home from Memphis and Amelia was great during the whole visit. Saturday was Mom's birthday celebration and I realized I don't have the energy at 27 that she has at 51. She is one-of-a-kind. Birthday cake, egg dying, pictures, holding Amelia, presents (birthday and Easter), eating--it was a lot of fun all being together.

Mom and I

Amelia in the cutest bunny shirt ever...

Sunday was Amelia's first 'public' outing. She went to church in the monsoon. I almost chickened out on taking her, but off we went. Freezing cold, cloudy, and pouring. She didn't make a peep throughout the whole service. I welled up with pride at this feat. Speaking of pride, it was simply ridiculous the amount of it I felt when members of the congregation came up to gaze their eyes upon her cuteness. Then that pride was overtaken by feelings of protectiveness. A bridezilla I was not, but a Momzilla I might be. Here were my thoughts, "Please don't breathe on her," "Why are you touching her arm?" and "Get out of her face." Hmmm. Am I that mom?

Our family :)

Her two month shots are coming up and I feel like I will fall apart. Four shots at once. Yikes.

With all the cute bows and dresses, it is easy to forgot that Easter is a miracle. They showed a video clip at church that really got to me. The tomb was rolled away. He was gone! Oh what a redeeming moment for those that truly believed in their hearts that he was the Messiah. And oh what a moment for those who doubted. I am so thankful for his sacrifice.

But...I am also thankful for this precious child. And...this bow.

So, Ross went home for rotations on Monday and I stayed a few days here. Mom and Dad are taking me back to Little Rock on Wednesday afternoon. Yes, I am a spoiled brat.

Later gators.

stormy stomach

man my stomach hurts. all the storms have moved out, but i can't calm down. big surprise huh?

out-of-control. simply put-- when a tornado is heading my way, i feel out-of-control. having amelia here made it worse. this was my first storm with her. i wanted her to be safe. wanted to find a basement. wanted to stop watching the radar when the storm was still fifty miles away. wanted. wanted. wanted.

i know God is in control. i get it. what i don't get is that in spite of this knowledge the fear is gripping. draining. suffocating.

amelia slept through the whole ordeal. (woke up to one thunder boom) what a trooper. calm and inspiring at a mere six weeks and five days old.


Amelia with her new Easter book from her Gammy and Gampy. Thanks!Yes..I'm holding up my head again Mom. It's not a big deal.

Hmm...should I wake up? I will just stretch and think about it.

The stomach seas are settling. The heart isn't racing. The Lord is ever reigning.

Oprah, how could you?

So, following the days of giving birth, I said that I was going to write a book called, The Things They Didn't Tell You, and it was going to have all the crazy things about becoming a mom that no one bothered to share with me. Well, imagine my surprise when I flipped the channel to watch Oprah and her show was titled, "What they didn't tell you about Motherhood." The WHOLE show was devoted to moms just dropping the judgment and being honest about all the feelings associated with the hormonal overdrive of giving birth. UGH...she stole my whole idea and I no longer feel interested in compiling my thoughts for this aforementioned book. Thanks Oprah.
(although, I did love the show and completely related).

Some weird things that I do now:
1. watch CMT with closed captioning on and sing all the songs to Amelia like I know the words
2. sing Christmas songs to Amelia, but put other words to the tunes
3. look forward to my showers
4. only think of what clothes to wear based on how easy it would be to nurse in it
5. stare at Amelia after I get her to sleep instead of being productive

We are going back to Harrison for Easter and I cannot wait. Lately, I've been thinking. And let me tell you, I have always been a thinker. However, when I sit and rock my precious baby for hours on end, I have a LOT of time on my hands and I just can't help but wonder, "Why me?" "Why am I so blessed?" I wasn't even trying to get pregnant and there was the positive test. I prayed for a healthy baby and I got one. I can't think of anyone I would rather spend time with than my family. I have an incredible job and a wonderful place to live. I have a husband that most women could only dream of having. Yes being a mom has been challenging, and yes, things have changed dramatically. Yes, I am fighting that urge to be selfish, and yes, I realize the above list sounds generic. It isn't though. I really feel all of those things.

So, why me? I have even started feeling guilty about some of these blessings when I hear of others that are suffering. Then, I become fearful of their fleetingness. Ridiculous. The Lord wants me to be appreciative of the blessings he pours out and then bestow blessings on others. Satan wants me to feel guilty and fearful. It has been impossible to have a focused quiet time with Amelia here (or perhaps I haven't been purposeful in my time) and I need to get in gear. I felt so close to God in the operating room that it was SO worth it to have a C-section. However, I have been so focused on her and her needs that I am definitely not giving God his time. This is my new goal--to reconnect.

Oh and my other goal is obviously to get in shape. Sigh. 11 months of not working out. I get winded pushing the stroller. Gross. Love.

Company

I wonder if Amelia will call people all these names that I come up with? Probably not. But, just for kicks.. Bran-Bran and Natey came over to visit us and we had a fun night. Amelia was sweet (sleepy) and we had some great conversation with our friends. Here they are, all dressed up in Harrison.
Ross has done a lot of night duty with Amelia. One interesting thing about our angel is that she only wants to be held. So, we do just that. We hold her all night. Hours in the rocking chair. Keep your comments to yourself please. Oh, that's right..no one comments anyway. Not only has he done night duty, but he clipped her fingernails because I was afraid I would hurt her. He also doesn't shy away when she is crying. "Come to Dad; I will cuddle you. Don't cry." Aww. However, he did say, "Will you bring me my coffee?" while he was holding her. Are you kidding me? You want me to bring you your cup of SCALDING coffee while you are holding our child in your lap? Not awww.

Reader Comments
Allow
Don't allow

Post date and time

On to the cutest little tiny bear house-shoes that you will EVER see.Amelia after her bath. I have turned into my mother. I was already pretty close.. When I took Amelia on a walk Friday, I specifically walked by people so that they would see her. I knew that they would have to comment because she is so cute. So, no matter what route I had planned on walking, I went another way when I saw a person. Then, I went really slowly and just beamed.

Later.

Home

Edit:
We just got back from the doctor and Amelia now weighs 8lbs and 2 oz and she is up to 21 inches. Good girl. Right when the appointment was over the doctor said, "Now you know she gets one shot today, right?" Umm wrong. I had no clue. I felt so bad for not mentally preparing her. I felt so bad for not being mentally prepared myself. Boo. She cried and cried and I stood in the corner. So supportive. Anyway, here are a few new pictures: backpack, bow, and dr.outfit



It is three in the morning. Fun times. Amelia decided that this would e the first night she wanted to be up and hang out in the middle of the night. She started out smiling and cooing though, so it is hard to really care. Now, she is sitting in her swing staring at me. She says hello to everyone.
The trip to Little Rock went really well. Amelia slept almost the whole way. Such a little girl to make a three hour trip like a champ. Here are some awesome things about today:

-it felt good to be home. i was sad to leave, but a nice feeling came over me when we pulled into the garage and brought her inside.
-amelia rode in her backpack for the first time for a lovely spring walk. it was so relaxing that she fell asleep. (picture to follow)
-we got a new laptop! seventeen inch screen and awesome keyboard. i am flying high. you will especially understand this if you have ever seen our old laptop.
-Ross and I got to talk a lot today and just be "us" for a while.
-Amelia smiled at me. This one will go down for an awesome thing every day.
-Megan went home on American Idol and Kris is still on

Most important on the list is that I was reminded how incredibly lucky I am. My mom is a beast. She won't appreciate that terminology, but she has helped me so much during these last few weeks. I knew she was a generous and selfless lady, but WOW. I am overwhelmed when I think of all she has done for me.

Of course, a fear is always close behind in my life; this is something I struggle with. The fear for this blessing is that I won't be anywhere near as good a mom as she is. I just don't see how there is any way. Luuuuucky.

To get rid of that fear, I will quickly follow with the fact that everyone has been so supportive that I feel the opposite of how people said I would. "OH, it will just be all about the baby now and no one will want to even see you." Not true. The outpouring of love for Amelia only makes me feel that much more special. So phhhhhhh.

Not sure how to upload pictures on this new guy yet, but maybe next time.