Honestly...

This morning I was selfish. I just wanted a few moments. I was selfish and wanted to check my email. I wanted to check Facebook. I wanted to check our bank balance. I wanted to order my new book club book on Amazon. I wanted to post on my blog. I wanted, I wanted, I wanted.

Amelia wanted, too. She wanted to be held. She wanted me to acknowledge that she doesn't magically feel better after one night. She wanted me to see that TWO teeth emerged during the night, bringing her grand total to eight. She wanted me to see all the dried snot stains on our couch and ponder how I will get them removed. She wanted me to coddle and cuddle her. The point is, she wanted too. And, I am responsible for her wants. And needs.

I am constantly striving for the balance of doing some things for myself so as to not totally lose me and providing for Amelia and Ross and being a good mom and wife. I recognize that this morning was a fail. None of those things I wanted were important, nor did they help fulfill me. They were not going to emotionally re-charge me to have more to give. I was just tired and feeling emotionally drained and pulled an "old" Heather move. A pre-mom move.

I recognized it, and corrected my attitude for the afternoon. It was not easy, as Amelia was crying and whining and crying some more. Mom, I don't feel well. At all. She bit me three times. On purpose. But, that made the attitude change all the more necessary. She had a great night and has not have fever for almost 48 hours, and her cough already seems better with the breathing treatments. Thank you for the prayers. Thanks so much.

So, I'm just human. With selfish ways. Trying to eliminate them daily. And Amelia loves me all the same. That is what is amazing. It is nice to have a more tangible picture of how God loves us.

And on an unrelated note, how is it that at 28 I can still break out?

How can I eat an entire box of thin mint Girl Scout cookies and gripe about my bathing suit body?

Oh, and how can a shower suddenly be considered my luxury time to rest?

Tomorrow there will be pictures and positivity.

Honestly.