Last..

I took a break from blogging for Christmas Whirlwind 2010 and oh my I will never be able to recap the fun. It was neat having everyone come here and I would love to do it again...not pregnant. By Christmas night I was beyond tired. Today is my last day at home with Amelia by myself just doing our thing. Tomorrow is pre-op for two hours and mom is coming up to help me take down all the decorations of fun and Wednesday morning Elise is here. WOW.


Dear Amelia,

I am so glad that I get to stay home with you and have experienced all these days of joy just you and I. It has been so fun to introduce you to songs and storytimes and parks and pallets and walking and talking and laughing. Thank you for being my only buddy at times and for wearing me out and showing me true joy and passion. I know you will be a wonderful big sister to Elise. She will get to experience your energy and contagious smile and zest for life, and for that, she is already lucky. I love you so much and on our last day as just you and Mommy at home, know that nothing has made me happier than to have these special days with you. Even the teething ones and clingy ones and sniffly nose ones. But especially the books, puzzles, painting, and swinging ones. Becoming mom to a Buzzy Bee has been more than I ever dreamed. Thank you my little one.

Love,
Mom


Emotional today, but in a sweet way. Spent our morning with Lynna and Asher and their wonderful mommies and came home to play with our new kitchen from Santa. What a wonderful Christmas for Amelia. She played herself silly and was smothered with love and presents. She ate as many sweets as she wanted and behaved like a Christmas angel. Ross was home four straight days and we couldn't have gotten a better present. I wish I could post 1000 pictures, but here are some of my favorites.

Update

I started feeling bad last night--dizzy, headache, legs aching and swelling, etc. Ross took my blood pressure and it was sky high compared to where it has been this whole pregnancy. With my blood pressure issues last pregnancy, Ross felt that I needed to go up to be checked out and I agreed. We took Buzz to Jens (where she had a blast) and headed up to the hospital. My blood pressure was still up when we got there and they started the tests. Everything was negative on the preeclampsia testing and we were SO relieved. We got my blood pressure to come down by resting quietly, but Elise wasn't responding too well, so we stayed for some more monitoring. After some juice and crackers, she finally started moving around and giving them what they wanted to see. She has seemed her normal self today and I have counted a lot of kicks. Thanks to everyone for their prayers and texts and concerns. Whew. I don't do much drama free it seems, but I would love a calm remaining eight days. I go to see my doctor in the morning and we will see what she says about all these events.

Earlier yesterday was MUCH more fun and we had a Kids Christmas Party at Lynna's house. Casiee had brownies and cookies and spinach dip for the moms and the kids painted ornaments and dipped pretzels. We ordered pizza and it was just so wonderful. I never really understood playdates and two year olds having "friends," but now I get it. I get how important it is to have another mom to talk to about things and share struggles with and how important it is to see your kids loving other little human beings and becoming their own people.

It was a great morning that blurred into the afternoon and Amelia screamed for her friends the whole way home. I was scared to move to Springfield and the blessing of this small group of friends (for Amelia and I) is immense.

Amelia loved playing with Lynna's toys and kept dragging them all out of her room. The kids played well together and I really tried to just let them be and not hover. Tried...and did fairly well.

Let you know tomorrow what the doctor says!

We've Been...

1. Making gingerbread houses. This was one of Amelia's 12 day gifts and although it definitely wasn't my cup o tea, she was thrilled. I discovered you can never use too many green sprinkles.

Ross was really into it to and helped out a lot--as in constructing every house.



Fun night for sure. Lots of clean up for sure.

2. Having SEVENTH annual earring parties. So glad my friends came to the house yesterday for a divine late lunch and lots of snacks and laughs. It was such a blessing to have old friends here and just laugh about nothing and everything. Plus, I scored two sweet pair of earrings. Thanks so much girls :) Brunette babes.


Okay, and a big ole pregnant blonde.
3. Visiting the farm. Mom and Dad took Amelia to their house for a night and I finished some shopping up and got ready for the above party. Somehow I am still not done, but I shall carry on. I had an appointment at the doctor and things are still looking on track for the 29th. My ankles are finally swelling, but I am proud they have held off this long. Mom of course came to watch Amelia (as she has for EVERY appointment) and Amelia was of course in heaven because she so loves her NAMMY (Gammy). She had a blast with them at their house and got to spend some time with Meme and Pop as well. I missed her but was happy she got to do that. Oh, and where was Ross? ON CALL. gag. me.

Mom, thanks for all your drives, texts, love, laughs, advice, outfits, boots, smiles, hugs, tickles, etc. Amelia is crazy about you and dad and that just thrills me to the ends of the Earth.

Traditions

Loving her advent calendar---and so are her parents.


I love traditions. I am sometimes guilty of saying, "Because that is how we always do it." Simply for the reason that whatever the event is, it is what makes you feel alive, and is deeply rooted in you, and thus, tradition carries on. However, new traditions can start, and those too will become, "the way we always do it." This time of year makes me so thankful for a family that cares enough to have traditions and deep family values.

We always open presents on Christmas Eve. Period. We have changed locations very few times, but the day stands. This year it is at my house due to my not being able to travel. Big Christmas Eve buffet feast and presents and more presents and games and more eating. I am excited--although it is weird because I still feel 16 and I own a house and people are coming to it for Christmas. This will probably be a one time deal and I am looking forward to it.

A few other traditions, that I am so excited to share with Amelia Claire and Elise Mae:

- advent calendar starting Dec 1-25
- stockings on Christmas morning with Santa and one big gift from Santa
- sugar cookie decorating
- Christmas Eve candlelight service (this one is hard with little ones, but will be reintroduced as it becomes easier)

Barbara has introduced us to a few new traditions that have been so fun as well. She does the 12 Days of Christmas and this year Amelia really gets it. You open a small gift each night for the 12 days leading up to Christmas. Amelia has opened two new paint sets (already painted both pictures and used all the paint), two new books, and a paper nativity set so far. She gets VERY excited each night and reminds us JUST ONE!! This is an incredibly fun tradition and there are gifts for Mom and Dad too :)
Sidenote: Amelia sat still as a mouse as I punched out all these million pieces and taped them. Then, she played with them for at least thirty minutes. Talking to Baby Jeeeeesus all the while. So sweet.
Also, this year G bought us The Elf on the Shelf and it has already proven to be loads of fun. You hide your elf--we named ours Ziggy- after the kids go to bed and they look for him in the morning. Then, he watches you all day and sees how good you are. She has raced out of bed each morning to find him--even feeling super sick.

I am sure that Ross and I will continue to add our own traditions for our family of four and that is what is fun--to mix them all together. Ahh warm and fuzzy how I love you. We went to look at a little drive through light set up right down from our house the other night and Amelia loved it. She got to get out of her seat and stand at the van window and kept telling us she was a "gig gurl." By the way, drive-throughs are the only way I will look at lights unless it is at least 45 degrees out.




Happy Friday everyone.

PLAYYYDATE

Amelia was chomping at the bit for Lynna to get here to play this morning. Standing at the window shouting, "LYNNA??"


They had a great time and are such sweet little friends. Lots of hugging and they share pretty well too. A nice morning full of fun after a sickly few days. We have been so blessed by this move to Springfield. I love our home, I love our friends, I love how close we are to our family---lovey, lovey, lovey. Oh, and I um love residency? Nah. How about I love that Ross loves what he is doing? Yeah, we will go with that. :)


I also love television, no matter where I am living. Desperate Housewives is insane right now. What an awesome episode on Sunday :) Biggest Loser was perfect and I was so pleased with the winner. Amazing Race was a great season as well and I was pleased with the winner. You realize that this never happens, right? I am almost never pleased with the winners on these shows and somehow the reality tv gods are getting it right lately. Survivor will be a test though---not sure that will go down how I want it to.

Ross has been up at four every morning to go to work, so by the time I get Amelia to sleep he has fallen asleep as well. No tv for that man. He gets home, plays with Amelia, and they go to bed. Four more days of this rotation!!

Ugly

This hasn't been a pretty three days to say the least...

Fever of 102
Runny nose
Bronchitis cough
Cranky and sad (both of us on this one)
Sleepless nights in chair and on couch
Constant Tylenol

She has turned a corner this morning it seems and thanks to the people who sent uplifting texts and called and emailed to check on The Bee. I thought a lot about having a child while I was pregnant, but I never even thought of how hard it would be when they are sick. Draining, scary, emotional. My heart is so heavy for those parents with a child in the hospital and/or a terminal illness. They need constant prayers.

The worst part of all of this, now that she seems to be getting better is that I am just a wreck. I don't know if it is no sleep or the constant worry or the clingy-ness or Ross's hours or just a mix. But, it's ugly. As in three days of pajamas--the same pair--and no shower. Today we had a great day and she woke up and said she was better (fever free for now and honestly seems a ton better), but the one nagging thing that I can't let go is that she won't eat.

You know this has been a struggle for us since she was 6 months old. I got so sick of hearing how other people could get their kid to eat ANYTHING and I was crying over jar after jar of uneaten baby food. She had finally turned a corner at around 18 months and was eating a few things with protein, but now after the aforementioned Red Robin incident she says she doesn't like anything and hasn't eaten well. Add to that her sickness (and the sweet baby was so, so, sick) and she actually has eaten NOTHING for four days. I have pulled out all the stops and all the sweets and finally she said yes to a small, minuscule bowl of ice cream. In four days---liquid, one popsicle, and ice cream.

"She will eat when she is hungry."
"It is just a phase."
"It is not worth worrying about, just don't force it."
"This is nothing in the long run."
"You have to keep trying new foods."

Perhaps true. Most likely all true. But I have chosen to let this be my crux. The one thing right now that has me sobbing at the computer and is driving me crazy. I could very well be losing it. I don't want every meal time to be a fight. I don't want her to scream when she gets in her high chair because she would rather play than eat. I don't want to let her just run around the house while Ross and I pretend to enjoy our meal.

Okay, I have gotten it all out. You don't have to leave me any encouragement or tell me a story of how you knew someone that didn't eat and now they do. I just wanted to be honest---this is truly, truly getting to me. I want her healthy. I want her to be obedient. And most importantly, I want to be a mom who keeps her cool. So, I am just thinking it all out and we will go from here with a new plan.

We have glorious days together and so much fun, and it is a shame that food--the basic human necessity other than water---is causing such turmoil in our home three times a day. Yes, I understand that I am letting it cause turmoil.

Eek, I told you it was ugly.

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Moving along. We are going to share some precious snowmen with you. Amelia wanted "one white and one black nowman" and so that is what she made. She chose all accessory colors herself, as well as the design :)

And Meme and Pop, the musical Christmas card you sent has provided many smiles and lots of dancing pre-sickness. I have a feeling more dancing is in the immediate future.

Ignore how insanely tired Ross is in this picture and focus on that sweet kiss and picture a little voice saying, "Yeah, Daddy home 'day from wuhk."


Umm, the number one thing I researched as those photos were loading was, "Do not let your child know her not eating is upsetting you." So, does me bawling at lunch today begging her to eat her peanut butter strike that out? Okay.

And number two, "make sure they don't drink too much milk during the day because that will fill them up." Hmm, so giving her unlimited cups of milk all day long because you know it has protein in it won't work?

Aye, aye, aye. Next post----not about food. Promise. EDIT: If I add to the end that I am nine months pregnant, does it help this post seem any less insane? No? Okay. Carry on.

Belly Overload

Whew. I get winded doing the littlest things. I'm feeling huge. Not uncomfortable really, just very pregnant. Someone in the mall today whispered to their shopping partner, "That poor girl, trying to get her shopping done." Poor because I am pregnant and the people at the mall today were pyscho? Or poor because of my sheer size? I didn't stop to ask.

Mom came and got Amelia last night so that I could get some things done and have a full, uninterrupted night of sleep. Ahhh. And, Amelia has been begging to go to Gammy and Gampy's house since the last time we were there. Anyway, I got presents wrapped, laundry done, every single Christmas card done, Ross's secret santa gifts wrapped, and the list goes on--finished up at one a.m. Yes, I was very proud of myself and woke up feeling like this.
I promised myself I wouldn't talk about it, but Ross is on that rotation again--you know, the one that makes me go insane in the membrane? So, it has been me doing everything. But, I am handling it much better this month because I am such a good wife. Or, um, because God has given me a healthy dose of grace. We've still had words about his schedule--actually, I have had words and he sits and smiles--but one week left plus a weekend call and we've made it out alive.

Buzzy Bee continues to love the tree and the advent calendar and the presents and the nativity scene and all that is Christmas. And, it is just the most precious thing.

Hmm, anything under there for me?



Very proud of the wreath she made.

I had a doctor's appointment this morning and all checked out well. You know the time is near when you are going every week. My O.B. gave me the idea of having a present or two for Amelia from Elise after she arrives. I think Amelia will eat this up and it was a really good idea. Of course I almost cried at the fact that my doctor took the time to suggest it and listen to my worries of Amelia adjusting. Cry. Baby.


Nineteen Days Left :)


After the doctor, the mall, lunch, and Wal-Mart, I am feeling pooped. Definitely not in the muscle woman pose from earlier. In my pajamas, ready for bed, and it is five. I better get a little kick in my step because Mom and Dad are bringing my Amelia Claire home. One night away was plenty and I miss her. Later gators.

Me Self

Uncle DD is famous. He probably won't put this on his own blog, so I will share. Msn Lifestyle Homepage used one of his photos for their feature stories on ugly Christmas sweaters. So cool.
http://lifestyle.msn.com/your-look/everyday-style/staticslideshowdg.aspx?cp-documentid=26215390&gt1=32002.

Amelia is still loving gymnastics and got a dose of courage on Monday. The bigger kids always do the rings with their legs through the holes of the rings. Seems unsafe and I scowled at the idea. Then, my child begged to do it and I let her. Sheesh. Here is the big shot in action.


She asked to do it "me self" and I said absolutely not and maintained a death grip on her back. This was by far her favorite thing to do yesterday, but thankfully she returned to hanging on the rings normally and swinging her feet. Whew. Much less dangerous.

Today we tried something new and went to paint pottery with Lynna and Casiee. Storytime is canceled all month (grrrrr---I live for storytime) and so we are infusing one new activity a week for December. Pottery painting was a huge success. Amelia loved it. She immediately started picking out things to paint and knew exactly who she wanted to paint them for. Ummm expensive. We had to pay by the hour to paint and THEN we had to pay for each piece we painted. Probably will head back to Firehouse Pottery in a year or so, lol.

She was very serious about her artwork, as usual. Every single piece was done "me self." On the way to eat, she chatted about what she had painted for each person. I told her they were surprises, but if prodded, I am sure she would tell you...

Then came the meltdown in Red Robin. We had never been and I was excited for something other than Chik Fil A or Backyard Burgers (her two favorite restaurants of all time). She hated the BIG fries (steak fries) and said the chicken was EWW GROSS. Hmmm. Cried and spit out every bite and asked to go to the mall. Oh dear. We got home and she asked me to fix her lunch, ha. She had an entire peanut butter and jelly sandwich and a few pieces of banana. Her teeth are killing her and I am just praying ALL teething is done before Elise arrives.

We have been having our own storytime sessions at home and Amelia loves to be the reader--- "me self," see a theme developing? Her favorite book right now is Quck As a Cricket, by Audrey Wood.

We read it several times a day and she loves the pictures. It is also a wonderful tool to introduce the concept of similes. Her G got it for her and it has been a big hit for the last several months.

Thanks for the new reindeer shirt Gammy! She particularly wants people to notice the lights on the antlers. Several strangers have been stopped and shown said lights.

Whatever You Want To Call It...

I get teary eyed a lot. For different reasons. Always have--always will. Pregnancy heightens it some, but not much. Honestly, I am just a crier. Sometimes the tears trickle down and I wipe them away, but if I ever start to full out blubber. Hold on to your hat. I cried four times this morning in a minuscule period of time. Or teared up. Whatever you want to call it.

1. Before church Amelia said, "Me miss daddy 'day." (today) She has never said that before and it was precious. When he is on call she is starting to realize that he should be home at a certain time and when he isn't, she questions it. She then said, "Home layler, kiss." Awww. Tear up #1.

2. They have snacks at our church that you can grab on the way to the service and a few weeks ago we were early enough to get there in time to get one. This was a first time occurrence and Amelia's love for powdered donuts overtook her and she squealed with joy. The whole way to church she chattered about a white donut and I kept saying the proverbial, "We'll see." I knew we weren't early enough to get one, but she wasn't having it. We walk in and I see they have already put up the snacks and only a few pieces of homely looking banana bread remain on the tray. Amelia is panicking and I start my spill about maybe next time and the lady running the counter smiles at me knowingly, pulls out a new package of white donuts that she had already put away for next week, and hands the bee one. Amelia screams, "THANK YOU." And, I proceed to lose it. Tear up #2.

3. When I dropped Amelia off at the nursery (bracing myself for impact since we missed last week and no week is particularly easy) she went right over the door to her teacher. I usually have to walk her in, but today she said, "Bye mom," And toddled off in her adorable red velvet dress with polka dot tights. Tear up #3.

4. During church, I was sitting there, alone in my seat and I was completely at ease. I love our church and as we were singing this morning, I felt very blessed that in just a few short months I feel completely at home in our sanctuary and even without Ross there today, I knew it was right where I needed to be. Tear up #4.

5. This is just a bonus, but I realized during our closing prayer that I forgot deodorant today. I almost teared up for the people around me.

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I have been having a few Braxton Hicks contractions, and my OB wanted me to do a NonStressTest to make sure they weren't real and that no complications were going on. I did a fifty minute test and they determined that Elise is fine in there right now and then a precautionary ultrasound to check my fluid levels. All checked out great there as well, and she is measuring 5 lbs 9 oz with twenty four days to go. It was nerve-wracking sitting in there all that time, but I am thankful that all ended up okay. She stuck her tongue out several times during the ultrasound. I'm sure it was loving. I am starting to swell a little and have gained 26 pounds so far. Pretty sure the holidays will put me over that 30 pound mark. I have been drinking hot chocolate bathed in marshmallow cream like it is a necessary life source.
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Lately Amelia is obsessed with looking at her old photo books. She is really trying to grasp that she too was a baby that came out of my stomach. It is hilarious to listen to her.
More pictures later. Too lazy to get up and get my camera.

Deck the Halls

Thank you Mammaw!! We got a new Christmas tree and it is just beautiful in our new house. Mammaw gave us some money to spend on Amelia and Elise, and we decided to purchase this tree that we could enjoy together as a family for many years. I simply am loving Christmastime in our new home. We put up our new advent calendar and Amelia is so excited to add a figure to the scene each night. She is most excited about adding baby Jesus on Day 25 lol. I always loved advent calendars as a child and it is surreal that I am now getting to explain how one works to my little bee. We had to wait on her Daddy to get home--she has been very aware lately that he is missing out on certain things we do during the day and sometimes she will refuse to do things until he gets home from wuhk.

She wanted to wait on him to hang our stockings up and her new i'msoexcitedscrunchfacesmile seems to be the norm these days.



Amelia was dancing around the house this morning before school, but decided to start crying once we got in the car and saying she didn't want to go.

I took her in crying and crying, but stood outside the door until she stopped and her teachers said she ended up getting down (one of her teachers spoils her and will hold Amelia as long as Amelia requests it) and playing with the other kids. So, one of our roughest starts ended with one of her best days. And, I had a great MOPS meeting and enjoy the encouragement and stories and advice from the other moms.

Ross had an emotional day at work with one of his patients and it made me realize how tough residency can be for him at times. He is working 14 hours a day and coming home and being a great dad and playing with Amelia every second he is here. I am really good at realizing how tough residency is on me. But, as he shared with me some of his heavy heart this evening, I was reminded what an important thing he is doing. And I have never been prouder.