Freaky Friday

I like being honest. It is free therapy for me really. My struggle has always been with being too honest. I am constantly working on tactfully telling my opinion. Even when asked, some people don't want to know what you really think. Sometimes though, on this blog, I am restricted. I type something and think, "Hmm, I should include that in my journal, but not for the world to see."

Apparently I think the world is reading my blog. Oh, Heather.

So, here is some brutal truth I have been mulling around- unedited.


- It is difficult to talk to people (specifically working moms) about staying at home. I feel like if I gush over how wonderful it is (and it is wonderful) then it comes across like I don't support their decision (or often their necessity) to work. If I say that it is harder than I expected it to be (and it is hard) and that I miss working (and I sometimes do) then it might come across as if I am not grateful for the opportunity. The truth is this: I could not be doing anything else other than staying home with Amelia right now. That is all I know; this works for us and we are happy.

- I don't worry much about money. That is pretty obvious seeing as I quit my job and I was the sole provider for our family. Loans have given me a false sense of security. We really watch what we spend, but I am not worried that we will run out of money because we can just take out the next little step of student loan. Insane, right? Next year = no loans to fall back on. Reality checkkkkk.

-Fear is a constant battle I fight. For some it is insecurity, guilt for others; pride, addiction, the battles go on. Mine is fear. Gripping, can't see straight fear. Anxiety about things that are not controllable. Big issues. Yes, I am nervous about moving and nervous about meeting new friends and nervous about a new church, but I am not fearful. I am not talking nerves...I am talking fear. As in, not of the Lord fear. As in, lack of faith fear. Working on it every single day. Improving, but working.

-I am tired. Honestly, I would like to go to bed when Amelia does every night. But, I force myself to stay up and talk to Ross and watch some telly. Okay, force sounds harsh, but you know what I mean. I make an effort because it is important to do so. Important for Ross and I as a couple and important for me as an individual. After 8:30 is my time with Ross and it stinks that I get tired at 8:35. :) More Dr. Pepper.

- Umm I didn't vote in the election. So much for patriotism, huh? I honestly didn't care enough. I don't talk politics, don't read the newspaper or watch the news because I just don't care. I can't bash Obama because I didn't vote--that seems like a simple enough rule to me. However, I need to at least be informed of day to day activity in the country. The only problem is that I don't even trust the news that I read...

- Last truth for the day is that I am disappointed in my Christian walk. I need to do more outwardly. My relationship with Christ is my business and I will always have to work at my quiet time, but I need to work on my outward walk as well. This passage smacked me in the face: "Does merely talking about faith indicate that a person really has it? For instance, you come upon an old friend dressed in rags and half-starved and say, "Good morning, friend! Be clothed in Christ! Be filled with the Holy Spirit!" and walk off without providing so much as a coat or a cup of soup--where does that get you? Isn't it obvious that God-talk without God-acts is outrageous nonsense?" --James 2:14-17, The Message

- One more. Ross was off today and took Amelia to play at The Wonder Place this morning and I went for a pedicure with Amy. I didn't feel guilty-only wonderful. And, Amy paid for mine. It was such a special treat.

Because I can't resist..

Hubs

Ross is funny. In a very not trying to be funny way. Which, is one of the things I love most about him.

Amelia has a set of magnetic letters that reside on the fridge. Most of the time she takes letters off through the house and sometimes they find their way back to the fridge and sometimes they don't. I don't care. However, Ross does. There are times that he will spend thirty minutes locating the letters and put them back on the fridge. This last week, he could NOT find three of the letters. He looked in his spare time and with great intention. It was stressing him out and all I could do was laugh. One morning I walked in to this....

Bless his heart.


I was telling Ross about the TOMS Day Without Shoes that is coming up and what a great cause I think is. He says, "Yeah, but I could never participate." I realize that this is either because he thinks that the risk would be too great to be in the hospital with no shoes or that it will go against the health code. He says, "My feet are WAY too tender." Bahahahahah. Amy has dubbed him Little Tender Foot.


How about some more Easter weekend pictures just for fun?


More, you say?

Worn Out

Amelia obviously enjoyed all that was Easter this year too. She fell asleep early last night and mid-bite today in her highchair. Apparently she is still catching up on her sleep and as Meme said, she might be wondering why she gave up the morning nap so soon.

Here are some pictures of the continuing Easter joy. I am posting them to avoid unpacking and doing laundry. Gag. It literally looks like the house threw up. Delightful. Oh, have I mentioned that I am moving in like six weeks? Now I am the one throwing up.



Amelia got to meet Jenner for the first time at the egg hunt and they were checking out how many eggs the other found!
Aunt Steph and Uncle D gave Amelia a basket of goodies and she was loving this book.

Dad felt the need to stick his egg dyed stubby fingers in this sister shot. I can't stop laughing.

Sweetest cousin ever award goes to Jared Kenneth.
We celebrated Pop's birthday this weekend with everyone there and Amelia was feeling very "helpful" as he opened his presents.


Mom let Ross and I sleep in on Sunday and when I woke up, Amelia had a tutu on over her jammies ha. She was delighted with what the Easter bunny brought her.



Navy is always classy. Crazy eyes aren't.
G and Pa had Amelia a huge Easter basket of goodies. The best egg had some pearls in it for Amelia to have of her very own. She usually tries to steal G's.

Ross was in charge of pictures at his parents house, so there are like three.

Trying

I am trying to figure out what made this the greatest Easter ever. Because it was. No offense to past Easter festivities, but this weekend seemed extra special.
The miracle of the empty tomb is not a new story, but somehow it hit me harder this year. Friday it appeared there was no hope and Sunday there was hope abundant. In a mere three days everything changed. For some reason- this year- that blows my mind.

My family was all together as usual, so I'm trying to figure out why I was overcome with such intense joy as I looked around at us hunting eggs. It obviously has something to do with this new egg hunter that has joined our rowdy group.


Perhaps it even had something to do with me finding twenty five eggs and dominating the hunt. Perhaps? Either way, we were all pretty excited to have such wonderful weather. I am trying to channel that sun for all egg hunts to come.

And, although it isn't about the Easter Bunny, it is sure fun to see him. I'm trying to find a way to get a big, festive figure to appear in May.


Egg dying will forever be fun, even when Amelia dunks her entire hand in many containers of dye. She had a blast and I am trying to push away the thought of the mess she will be capable of next year. Derek made his classic egg (kind of like the classic track suit) and all was well in the world.


What I am trying to say is that this Easter weekend was full of love and family and thanks. I hope yours was as well. I am also trying to figure out how at this time last year my sweet baby girl was sitting by some eggs...

And this year she was chasing after them.

I'm trying to resist the urge to post 1,345 more photos of the weekend. Okay, just one more.

Plip Plop

1. Amelia randomly got a 102 degree fever yesterday. This was out of the blue--so fast.
2. Dr. said it was a "virus" which irritates me because I like to know when and where and why.
3. I skipped workout class and ate M and M's and nachos for supper. Flab.
4. I was worried all night her fever would spike and slept virtually none.
5. She had slept alone for SIX nights in her pack n play--a complete miracle and accomplishment and last night I let her sleep with me, potentially ruining everything.
6. This morning she has a 100.1 with no Tylenol, so that is much better, and things were looking up.
7. However, the weather forecast is frightening at best and so we probably won't get to go home anyway due to tornado potential. Us + vehicle + tornado = not good.
8. I hate when my plans are ruined and now I am trying to reconfigure when we will go home for the Easter festivities and Pop's birthday.
9. It appears that I am very annoyed/frustrated based on this list.
10. No cute pictures of sick chick. She prefers photo shoots only when she is totally fever free.

I do not like kinks in my plans and perhaps will never learn to roll with the punches. However, that is my husband's job anyway and I would hate to step on his turf. Plip. Plop.

More Sweet Than Bitter

Before Deacon came over the other day, I tried to get Amelia to wear her new sandals for the first time, but she kept grabbing her toes and giving me a fake smile. Perhaps she didn't think it was quite warm enough and she was probably right.

We had a blast when Deacon came over to play and I got a little/lot sad thinking about Amelia leaving her two best buddies in LR. Wahhhh.




Even though this is so blurry it looks like AC doesn't have a face, I had to post it because Deacon was showing her how to jump off the ground and she was trying so hard.





Another Book Club came and went and I love it more each time. The discussion was great and I am honestly enjoying hearing opinions that differ from mine---perhaps one of the things that I love most about the group. We read Hotel on the Corner of Bitter and Sweet and although the writing style was a little straightforward for my tastes, the storyline was precious. I really loved the theme and the characters. Another stellar choice. This month we are reading The Magician's Elephant and I cannot wait to start. Man, I will miss Book Club. I told myself I wouldn't start ranting about all I am going to miss until May and I have done it twice in one post.

Zoo Zeal

This little lady hasn't been to the zoo in a while and she wanted to know why.





I told her it had not been nice enough, but that it would be seventy nine degrees on Wednesday AND Daddy was off in the morning and we would hot foot it to see the animals. She was pumped this morning and wore leopard print for the occasion (and brought her monkey). However, Ross read the schedule wrong and was not off, so he was heartbroken and I told him to get a brain.



Girls day at the zoo was a blast and each visit Amelia is more and more into the animals. I can't ever get a picture of her actually with the animals, but I got a lot of her reactions. Here she is quite amazed that we saw the giraffe this close.

She loooooved the little otters and the show they were putting on for us. They continually made eye contact and kept flipping around in their tank. So cute. I let her get out of her stroller and she stayed glued to the glass.
When we saw the monkeys, she was pretty keen on petting her monkey we brought from home. Pretty sure she made the connection. What am I saying? My child is a genius. :)

Guess who even made a surprise visit on his lunch break? The brainless one. We were happy to see him and delighted UAMS is right by the zoo.

Amelia took off her shoes and got comfy on the way home and is snoozing before some more fun. A snooze sounds nice...