Coughing, Caring, and Contemplating

Hiatus #2. Okay Ally, I'm back.

Coughing:
Man. I last reported that Amelia was better and I shipped her off to daycare (still on her antibiotic) with the best of intentions. Rotten decision because according to her doctor, she caught something else and has had another ten day (and counting) "virus." I am not sure why this term all of the sudden annoys me. It never has before, but I just want her better. There is nothing that can help her cough or dry up her ever running nose. I have the same "virus" and I feel so guilty when I blow my nose and feel relief. My first thought is, Poor Amelia can't blow her nose and get any relief at all. So, we are living in the land of wiping and suctioning, wiping and suctioning. I called the doctor again to inform him that she wasn't getting any better and he informed me that this could last four weeks. That seemed forever to me, but this is already week three, so hopefully the days of bright, dry eyes, a dry nose, and a cough free nap are in our future.

Adam and Joanna, and Aaron and Rebecca came over to celebrate the fact that Aaron and Ross PASSED THEIR TEST!! (Adam doesn't have his score back yet) I am so proud of Ross---he scored WAY over passing and this will be a great asset when applying to residency :)Amelia went to Deacon's birthday party and had a blast. This was in between her sicknesses and she was having a great day. She was the only girl at the party, but she had no problem with that. In fact, she seemed to enjoy it. Uh-oh.Minnie Mouse is still a big hit, and the shirt Great Aunt Jen brought back from Disneyworld fits too! Amelia loves presents that people bring her from their trips. Hint to all.



Caring:
This nearly month long sickness and fever and yuck has been yet another eye-opener of how caring our friends and family are. I pray that I show that same loving heart to those in need.

Mom and Dad came down this past weekend to let me get some sleep since I had spent several nights up with Amelia coughing. I was delighted and so were they. Oh and Ross was too, because, of course, golf was a necessary item of the weekend for he and dad. Amelia recognized Gammy and Gampy and it was so neat to see her little face process who they were.
G and Pa also came down that Sunday to see Amelia and check on us. Amelia loved playing peek-a-boo behind the couch with Pa.




Then, Mom and Barbara BOTH came back down this week on two different days to watch Amelia while I was at work. More on that in the contemplation section. I was so grateful to them for doing this. G brought Amelia a soccer ball and she loves it.


Oh, and she is all about playing soccer in a skirt. Because when you can CRAWL it doesn't matter. That's right, Amelia started crawling while Mom and Dad were here. She is going forward and I am so proud of her. It is a blast to watch her actually be able to get to things.


Our friends here have been so caring also. It is hard not having family close enough just to run over. Amy and Ashley, thanks for checking on us and volunteering to help out when you have little ones of your own. I cherish our friendship. Reb and Aaron took me to the E.R. when we couldn't get my fever down and sat with me until the wee morning while Ross was home with Amelia. We owe a lot of people big time.

Contemplating:
This is a serious section and not too many pictures will probably lend themselves to the topics of discussion, but I will try to throw them in so that I don't lose you. Actually this post is so long, most of you are probably gone, but it is more for my benefit anyway.

Ross and I have been contemplating some major life changes. Contemplating cash, comfort, conscience, care. Yeah, I love alliteration. We pulled Amelia from daycare after several issues and she is staying with a wonderful person in her home. I am very pleased with her being there. However, her babysitter got very sick, as did her little girl. So, Amelia definitely wasn't in the position to stay over there this week, thus putting me in a big bind. I took off Monday, Thursday, and today. Mom and Barb filled in Tues and Wed.

Whew, what a start to the school year. Hence the contemplation. What kind of teacher am I being? Even when I am present, I am far from present. More on this in a coming post.

I am also contemplating breast feeding and its end. The medicine I am on is not safe for Amelia, so I am pumping and tossing my milk. However, I am not doing this often enough and not producing enough milk anymore. The meds also seem to be drying me up. Sad day. Honestly, I have been so emotional over this. Breastfeeding has become a beautiful thing to me. It has actually become the picture that was painted to me in the beginning that I found inconceivable. It is something only Amelia and I share. No one can help with it and no one comforts her like I do. Darn it. Sad times.

It is hard for me to imagine how much God loves us. I have often struggled with understanding the depths of it. Now that I have a child, I just cannot fathom that he loves me even more than I love her. And even though it is hard to imagine, it has truly helped me realize the enormity of how much he cares for us, hurts with us, longs for us, and loves us. I know this journey of parenthood will be tough, but I am praying to continually become more like Him so that I can show Amelia grace and mercy.

Love.