Amelia's Musings

Amelia has been asking a ton of questions about Heaven recently and it really makes me uncomfortable.  Meme responded best with, "Why?  That is a great thing to talk about."  And, although I know that is the right answer, it just isn't the way I feel.  Of course, how can she begin to know the Lord and understand what all he did for us and what is waiting for us if I don't answer all her questions?  I begin to feel uneasy and think that I am answering them wrong or telling her too much.  Or too little.  We have been having many of these conversations lately:

"When do you think I will go to Heaven?"
Silent in front seat.  Most of these conversations occur while driving.
"Mom?  Do you hear me?  When do you think I will meet Jesus?"
Eyes welling up with tears because I hope not until she is 100.  
"Well...only Jesus knows when that day will be.  We don't know."
"Hmm.  I am just going to have fun and wait down here till he comes then."

And that was that.  We then started talking about how she wants to be a princess doctor when she grows up.  But, all the conversations lately have weighed heavily on my mind.  As all things do.  Fear will always be my vice.  It will always be my daily.  The daily struggle that I have to commit to fighting EACH morning or it will create a foothold.  And things will spiral.  The Lord has allowed me to grow in this area and I realize that many times, I just allow the perfect breeding ground for fear to thrive.  I look at sad articles and read about rare diseases and have the type of mind that reads and dwells further.  

All my years of worrying about death have been exhausting.  I'm always anxious and terrified that something awful will happen to the people I love.  Everyone will pass away at some point.  Even my three year old knows that, "Everyone we love will see Jesus one day."  And, I am honestly going to continue this path of trying to fight this fear.  He is using her to push me to talk about it and think about it; this I know.
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It is my favorite thing to just delve into conversation with Amelia.  You never know what you are going to get. A song came on the radio about being happy and when it was over, I asked Amelia what made her happy.  She said, "Oh definitely Jake."

M:  "The show on Disney Junior?"
A:  "Yes, I love that show so much."
M:  Wow, deep.
A:  "But, I also love our sweet family and the beautiful green trees.  Oh, and cupcakes.  And swimming."
M:  "I love all those things too my sweet girl."
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Lately she has also been contemplating the concept of minding.  She was discussing this with me the other morning and saying that even though she knows what to do, sometimes she just doesn't want to.  I got tickled because that is the case for me many days.  I explained to her that sometimes we don't like to be obedient, but we are called to be.  As I realized how many things I struggle with discipline wise, I gave her a few examples.  I thought our convo went well until she said this a few minutes later (while I was reminding her to hanging on the door handle), "Well, Mom, I really want to mind, but I just like doing what I am doing.  Okay?"  Sheesh.

Splashing Around

 Julie and I took the kids to the splash park a week or so ago and it was such a great time.  It was not at all what I expected, as there were tons of little individual pools and a waterfall that you could climb.  The only problem was that I wish I had been able to duplicate myself and have one of me with each girl.  The entire splash park was made of individual stones that were uneven and I feared someone tripping (which Elise did and bloodied her knee).  However, the kids had a blast and never even knew that I held my breath the entire time.

Zeke and Liam

Amelia and Julie

Buddies

Amelia was half afraid of the huge fountain

Playing

Elise Mae

Always pack a lunch everywhere we go!

We are going to go back when Ross is on vacation for another shot at it.  I think with more help I will be able to enjoy it a little more.  One hilarious thing is that we had to park in a parking garage and Amelia had never been in one.  She was looking around in awe when I got her out and honestly that was one of her favorite things about the whole day she said.  It literally takes nothing to impress her and get her excited and it is so precious.  I got us lost on the way back to the car and we went to the wrong floor AND we went the wrong way leaving.  Amelia said, "You definitely need more practice at these."

Castle Rock

Amelia Claire got to go to Castle Rock in Branson to spend the night for her end of school treat from my Mom and Dad.  She had been anxiously waiting since May and the time finally came.  Here she is all ready for the day to do tons of fun things with her Gam and Gamp.

That next morning, Elise, Steph, Liv, Ing, and I got to join them because Mom thought ahead to get the room for two nights.  Another example of her thoughtfulness creating fabulous memories for us.  We had such a great time.  I just can't say enough about this little resort.  It is hard to get any pictures since water is splashing everywhere, but I tried to snap a few.

Veggie Tales LIVE!

 Before I get to Veggie Tales, here are a few cute pictures that I couldn't resist posting.

Amelia and Elise walking into the library.  They look so big!

Elise in my lap at story time.  Ahh, those pigtails!

LOL.  Amelia waiting patiently while Elise messes around.  I always try to get a picture of them on this bench before church and Elise is simply a messsss.

Me and my sweet girls.  LOVE THEM.

Snuggle.

 Okay, on to Veggie Tales.  First off, the Veggie movies are heavy in plot and were over Amelia's head when we tried them a while back and I had forgotten to try again.  Mom saw where they were coming to Branson (because she always seems to be in the know) and thought the girls might like the show.  I read up on it and saw it was just great songs and a positive message and knew Amelia would love it. Ingrid and Steph came with Dad and all the girls were just giddy.  Dad was going to take Elise back to hang out in Harrison with Liv, but at the last minute I was feeling really sad and had Elise come in until intermission.  My sweet Dad agreed to just hang out and be on hand if she wasn't doing well.  She was free and didn't need a ticket, so that worked out great.

*Before the show Amelia decided she was terrified and that a scary part was going to occur.  She sat in her chair frozen.  Thankfully, she shook it off and I convinced her it was all FUN.  She had a blast and so did Elise.  Actually, Elise probably could have done the whole show, but it was safer to send her on at intermission.  I was so proud of her!

 

 

The theme of their show was "God Made You Special."  How I hope the girls always remember that and that the things we do and say and show them now in these young and impressionable years will carry them through the years where it is tougher to stay true to who you are.  I loved this sweet time with my sister and Ing and my babies. 
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We went back to Harrison for a fun Fourth of July cookout at Mom and Dad's.  They went all out as usual and had enough food to feed all of Bergman.  It was so delicious and I actually had my first grilled hotdog (or three) of the summer.

We had a full house and I didn't get many pictures because we needed all manpower for the kids.  Hopefully Steph got some more pictures of everyone.  It was a blast and I am so thankful for Mom and Dad putting it together. 

 

Summer Days

Ahh these summer days are drifting away and I'm falling behind on my posts.  But, all the fun we have makes it worth catching up.

-Graduation.  Ross is officially a third year resident!  That news makes the top of the list.  I am so proud of his dedication and hard work and mostly, I am proud of his confidence level.  He has become much more confident in his skills and it makes me so happy to think of how far he has come (and that he has finally realized what I have been telling him:  he's the best, haha).  We had a nice time at graduation and a big thanks to Mom and Dad for keeping the girls.  Now that the third year is here, I am making a conscious effort to savor every moment.  The girls have helped me do that more, in general, but I am really working on it even more because I just LOVE living here.  I want residency to be over, but not our time in Springfield.  Unfortunately, the two are a package deal.  BOO. 

Ross was awarded the Velvet Elvis, which is a longstanding tradition and given to the 2nd year resident based on the Seniors' vote.  How funny that the very first recipient of this award (listed on the back) was Ross's new boss in Mountain Home??  We thought that was so funny/neat.

- Five Year Anniversary.  The next day we celebrated five years of marriage and it was a fabulous day just with our family of four.  Although it is nice to be together alone, and needed, Ross and I were excited to spend a whole day together with our girls.  He was on call, but I was determined not to worry about him being called in.  AND GUESS WHAT?  The pager didn't ring the entire day!  I woke up to this awesome present-- a recovered chair and new pillow.  We bought these chairs a long time ago and I never picked out any fabric to have them recovered and Ross did it all on his own.  I love the pattern he picked.

 

We had a breakfast at the most delish pancake house ever.  Hoping to go back many Saturdays to come.  The Hahn's treated us and we owe them so many dinners that I cannot keep track of them.  They are such good friends and so generous in their giving-- and not just paying for our food.  They are generous with their friendship and we love them so much!

 Then we went to Kohl's and shopped a bit and arrived back home with a new pool for the girls.  The big one is a pain to blow up on a whim and we found a small one on sale.  I was whining that my gift for Ross hadn't arrived on time and right then the truck pulled up with his present.  YIPPEE.

 

After naps, we went bowling.  I normally wouldn't have attempted this, but Amelia has been asking to go for a while and they got free bowling games with their Summer Reading Program at the library, so off we went.  It was actually quite a success despite by disdain for the game.  Amelia had a blast and Elise really liked it too.  One game was definitely all that we could swing as they both were a little restless between turns at the end.  And no, I didn't break 100.   

And then, even though it was late, I threw all caution to the wind and we went to Famous Dave's for supper.  My word BBQ that good is totally worth a late bedtime.  The girls were very well behaved and ate wonderfully.  The perfect anniversary dinner :)

This is Elise hiding under the table cloth.  We couldn't stop laughing...

Girls, when you are reading this some day, I want you to know how much I love your Dad and how hard he works at balancing his life as a doctor, his life as a dad, and his life as a husband.  He comes home and drops everything to play with you and give you all his attention and then tries to keep his eyes open to spend time with me, while doing charts or paperwork.  One of my absolute favorite things about him is that he NEVER complains or makes excuses.  NEVER.  He is always positive, always real, and always polite.  It is honestly a complete miracle he puts up with your wild mama and I want you to know how blessed we are to have him as The Man in our life. 

Happy (late, but just as special) Fifth Anniversary Ross!

Happy Birthday Jen

We had Jen's birthday party this past week and as usual at Jen's house, it was a blast!  Meme had tons of great snacks and the little girls had a great time playing with all Jen's toys. 

 

Amelia was so excited to return this bowl to Aunt Jen that we have had forever.  We put it in her bag as a present and she said, "Aunt Jen will think this is so funny."  She was right :)

The girls had a blast in the sprinkler, sandbox and Jen's version of a water table.  I love being with all the family and it magically wasn't too hot thanks to all the great shade trees Jen has in the backyard.

 

Ross even made it to the last half of the party after work and was content blowing bubbles. 

Cupcakes and ice cream and cake and strawberries and whipped cream--YUM.  The birthday girl may be 47, but she is looking better than ever!

  

Even though it was her party, Jen just kept having one more thing for the girls.  She had stamps and paper out and they had a great time creating their masterpieces.

 

  

There were treat bags for the girls and they were a huge hit.  Meme was in charge of them and they were more just like a gift, haha.  The girls loved these caterpillars, and we had a great time painting our suncatchers!  

  

 

There is nothing I love more than a celebration with my family and Jen is a great person to celebrate.  She has been so wonderful to live in the same town as.  Always willing to watch the girls or have us over on one of Ross's late work nights.  Showers us with treats and has fun toys at her house for the girls.  Happy Birthday Jenny.